Soldier (1998) Review
★☆☆☆☆ Paul W.S. Anderson’s Blade Runner-adjacent actioner is a load of garbage.
Decades before shared universes were the billion-dollar-making norm, David Peoples had a vision of an epic space western set in the Blade Runner universe. References to the all-time science fiction classic remain — Tannhauser Gate gets a namedrop, and eagle-eyed viewers might even spot a Spinner somewhere amid the rubble of Arcadia 234.
But the final product, 1998’s mega dud Soldier, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon) and starring Kurt Russell, is so mind-numbingly terrible you’ll want to immediately headcanon it out of existence.
Russell stars as Sargeant Todd (no, seriously) 3465, a product of a 30-year-old military program designed to create the ultimate soldier. Discarded after being defeated by a new (and supposedly) superior breed of genetically engineered soldiers, Todd is dumped on a remote waste disposal planet, the only other inhabitants being a group of displaced colonists, including Mace (Sean Pertwee — Dog Soldiers) and Sandra (Connie Nielsen, Gladiator), who take him in.
Todd struggles to adjust to his new existence, unable to adapt to a life of peace after so many years of endless violence. But when the genetically engineered soldiers — his replacements — arrive on the planet, intent on killing anyone and everyone, he quickly steps up to protect his new home.
I’ve been a Paul W.S. Anderson apologist for years. Event Horizon, ironically a film that only happened because Russell needed more time to bulk up for this, is legitimately one of my all-time favourite guilty pleasures. Resident Evil, while far from the greatest video game movie, is a fun mutation of the zombie trope. And who didn’t love his mid-nineties big-screen adaptation of Mortal Kombat? Just me?
But Soldier is a step too far. Anderson took Peoples’ original concept and seemingly crayoned over it. His version is filled with a nauseating mix of action movie cliche, and frenzied visuals and editing more likely to give you a migraine than anything else. Years before Anderson’s camera met future wife, Milla Jovovich, it grossly ogled Nielsen, her immaculate features crushing the illusion that she’d spent most of her adult life trapped on an inhospitable trash planet.
Worst of all, Soldier takes Russell and strands him in a role devoid of any of the charisma and badassery you’d expect from him. He barely even gets a line. He does his best, although you’d expect nothing less given his reported $20 million dollar paycheque, throwing down in the film’s many sloppy action sequences.
He’s also pretty good at looking tough in the countless instances of slow-motion shots, standing in front of something on fire, or in the process of blowing up, or both.
But yeah, this is eye-gougingly poor on almost every level. With the exception of a couple of fun gore kills and Russell’s utmost effort to “do a Space Rambo”, it’s a dreadful, laughable slog of a movie.
Usually, films this hopeless provide some sort of “so-bad-it’s-good” amusement. I feel like I’m doing a public service here by telling you this really isn’t one of them
Originally published at michaelkenny.uk
Thanks for reading! If you liked this, please hit the clap button and follow me for more thoughts on film. I try to post at least one new review per day.
You can also find me on Letterboxd where I try to keep up with the kids and their witty meme reviews. You know the kind.
