An Open Letter to the ChatGPT Film Critics
Listen up, Skynet
“The Terminator” is a sci-fi action classic directed by James Cameron in 1984. The film follows a cyborg assassin, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is sent back in time to kill a young woman, Sarah Connor, played by Linda Hamilton, whose son will lead the resistance against the machines in a future war. It also stars Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese, a soldier sent back in time to protect Sarah.
The film is a masterclass in storytelling, with a tight script that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. The action sequences are expertly choreographed and executed, and the special effects hold up surprisingly well, even today. Schwarzenegger delivers a career-defining performance as the titular Terminator, a character that has become a pop-culture icon. Hamilton is also excellent as the strong-willed Sarah Connor.
The film also explores themes of fate, free will, and the potential consequences of technology, making it a thought-provoking addition to the sci-fi genre.
Overall, “The Terminator” is a must-see film that has stood the test of time and continues to be a fan favorite. It is a masterful blend of action, suspense, and science fiction that solidified James Cameron’s status as a filmmaker.
I didn’t write that. A machine did with a basic command in a nanosecond. The pulsing techno of Brad Fiedel mournfully rises in the background…
A lot is being said about ChatGPT at the moment, and rightly so. A demonstration of the incredible power of artificial intelligence, the tool has caused a lot of excitement among those looking for ways to incorporate it into their lives.
It has also, rather predictably, attracted a lot of interest from those looking for a shortcut to success.
The long-term application of ChatGPT, for me anyway, is currently unclear. In my day job as a search engine marketer, it allows me to quickly create placeholder copy for websites, as well as generate basic ad text ideas when the inevitable creative block sets in.
I’m sure as the technology continues to learn and optimise, many more will find a use for this nascent wonder.
But what I don’t think it can possibly replicate is the creative and critical thinking that is vital to film criticism. Well, we can extend this to criticism of any art form, but I write about films, so let’s just stick with that.
At the risk of catching a beating from Uwe Boll, film criticism is an art form in its own right. It’s a form of subjective expression designed to inform, persuade and, hopefully, if we’re doing it right, entertain. It’s a window into the eyes and the heart and the soul of the person writing it, a perfect piece of human imperfection.
It takes an awfully long time to become an overnight success as a film critic. I’ve been writing about films on and off (mostly off) since 2011, one of many in a sea of those looking to parlay writing with a passion for the movies. I’m under absolutely no illusion that even the mildest success will take years of hard work as I perfect my craft.
But you don’t seem to understand that. You’re looking for the shortcut to success, and you think spamming the internet with reviews generated by ChatGPT is just the ticket.
Barring deep pockets and a solid ad campaign, there is no substitute for hard work, determination and perseverance in writing or content creation or whatever you want to call it. Zero.
I see you. I see your content. I know the signs, and in time everyone else will too.
So ask yourself this: What am I trying to achieve with my torrent of soulless reviews of films and shows released before 2022? Do I really want to contribute to the field of film criticism?
Or do I just want to try and make a quick buck? Generating and pushing vapid content in front of my audience, the vast majority of which are just follow-for-followers who won’t give a shit about my stories anyway?
Regardless of your answer it doesn’t really matter. The real writers will always prevail. The John and Sarah Connors of the world, the celluloid-loving cream of the crop, will always rise to the top.
Good luck to you, I guess. Like the T-1000 in Terminator 2, your efforts certainly are having an effect in the short term, but unless you find a way to better marry AI and human creativity, I have feeling we’ll be saying “hasta la vista, baby” to you sooner rather than later.
If you haven’t already, consider hitting that follow button for more reviews and crap opinions on film. It doesn’t cost anything and will give me that essential dopamine hit and motivation to keep writing. But mostly the dopamine.
You can also find me on Letterboxd where I try (and mostly fail) to keep up with the kids and their witty meme reviews. You know the kind.
